Watch Episode 1 of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries
- Mona Kay
- Feb 18
- 7 min read
What Happened 10 Years Ago?
Ten years ago this month my ex-husband and I separated. We had been married 28 years and I kept asking myself this question..."if nothing ever changes in our marriage how will I feel in the next few years?"
Every time I asked myself that question the answer was the same.."I'll be even more depressed and lonely, and will have both emotional and physical health issues that may be insurmountable".
The sad thing is that we hadn't discovered that we were a neurodiverse couple yet and it would be another 15+ months before I made that discovery. Before we separated we had tried to understand each other and create a better connection in our marriage. We never stopped loving each other, but we definitely stopped trusting and respecting each other. Neither of us was creating emotional safety for the other and I think we were both dumbfounded by the fact that we still loved each other, yet repeatedly kept causing each other emotional pain.
Unfortunately, nothing we tried worked for very long and we both created a very toxic home environment that led to SO MUCH unintentional hurt and pain. Before we separated I suggested that we try an open marriage (ethical non-monogamy) and my ex had no interest in that. I'm not sure it was what I really wanted, but I was so damn lonely and craved more emotional connection that I offered it as an option.
Individuals and couples I work with often ask me..."What do you think would have been different if you and your ex had known you were a neurodiverse couple earlier in your marriage?" and here is my answer. There is no way for me to know what would have happened for sure, but one thing I do know is that we would never have caused each other SO MUCH unintentional emotional hurt and pain. In addition, I hope that if we had chosen to end our marriage we would have done it from a place of grace and compassion knowing that we could still love each other, yet know we were no longer compatible.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I would be today I don't know how I would have answered. I was emotionally drained, confused, exhausted and depressed. I never wanted a divorce and the only reason I asked for a separation is because nothing else we had tried was working. Fast forward to today and I am thankful that we divorced because neither one of us ever wanted to hurt the other, yet we kept doing that, and we didn't have access to the resources that are available today. The road through grief and on to healing and thriving wasn't easy, however I want all of you to know that I am SO thankful that my ex and I were married for 30 years, that we have an amazing 29 year old daughter who we both love and think is the most amazing human on the planet, and together we all shared lots of love and great times that I wouldn't ever trade.
No matter where you are in your Neurodiverse Love journey I want you to know that you are not alone!
Whether you choose to stay or go, I want you to know that you are not alone!
Whether you are ADHD, Autistic, AuDHD or some other combination of neurodivergence I want you to know that you are not alone!
I also want you to know that there are resources available to help you individually and as a couple as you move forward on your journey!
I am so proud to have been on this journey with so many amazing individuals and couples and am so excited to share with all of you the first episode of the 4 part Neurodiverse Love Docuseries today. Valentine's Day is not always a positive experience for neurodiverse couples, however I hope you will watch this episode and think of it as my gift to you.
In addition, if you would like to buy any of the resources I have in my shop I am giving all of you 62% off until the end of February---just use the code Doc62 (the D must be capitalized). I turned 62 this year and if I could give 52 year old Mona and her husband one gift it would be the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries, so I want to celebrate all of you and help you find the information and support you need to thrive..
I hope you find the first episode helpful and remember that you are not alone on this journey!!!
With gratitude,
Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D.
Watch the First Episode of the
Neurodiverse Love Docuseries
I am SO excited to share with all of you
the first episode of the
Neurodiverse Love Docuseries.
Each month a new episode will air on the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries YouTube channel and I hope that every time you watch an episode you will feel less alone and know that other neurodiverse couples have similar strengths, challenges and differences.
I know this 4 part docuseries would have been so helpful to me in 2017, when I first discovered I was in a neurodiverse marriage! I am so grateful and honored to have had an opportunity to interview the four neurodiverse couples who agreed to share some of their story with the world (Manecia & Willie, Sarah & Glenn, Jessie & Mark, and Brittany & Dante). Each couple is unique, yet they all have experienced similar challenges as they have navigated the differences they didn't understand at the beginning of their marriages.
I hope you see yourself in these couples and appreciate their vulnerability. After discovering their mixed neurotypes they have been able to see things through a different lens and share both their challenges and the ways in which they have navigated them with more compassion and love. I am hopeful that their stories will make you feel less alone and more understood.
In the docuseries you will also hear from three coaches/therapists
(Jodi Carlton, Greg Fuqua and Eva A. Mendes)
who work with neurodiverse couples and individual partners. They will share their lived experiences and some of the strategies and tools they use to help neurodiverse couples better understand each other and learn how to accept what can and can't change.
Please take a few minutes to watch the new docuseries trailer here and click here to get an introduction to the 4 couples and the 3 therapists and coaches who made the docuseries a reality.
I also want to thank the filmmaker, Erica Jacobs-Ware and the editor Dylan Bechill for helping me make this project a reality. Their creative talents and skills helped me take the dream of creating a documentary to something much better and bigger then I could have ever imagined!
None of the stories or information being shared through the docuseries would be possible without the support of so many generous people. I want to thank all of you who have provided financial support for the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries, I greatly appreciate your help in making this project a reality. Whether you gave $5 or $250, every dollar has helped me fund this critically important project.
If you still feel the call to contribute I hope you will, as I am in the process of raising the funds I need to finish the projeact.
So, if you have been helped by any of the resources I have offered through
Neurodiverse Love, then I hope you will consider giving at whatever level you can.
Everyone who contributes $100 or more will receive free access to ALL the downloadable items in my shop, which includes numerous workshops, the 2023 and 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conferences and the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards and Workbook.
In addition, everyone who makes a contribution
will be listed on the Neurodiverse Love website.
(unless you want your donation to be anonymous, so please let me know if you prefer that!)
No amount is too small, and I hope if you have been helped by the Neurodiverse Love Podcast, conferences, support groups or any of the other resources I have offered since 2020 that you will help support this very important project.
To contribute please click here
Thanks in advance for your support and contributions.
Support Groups and Coaching Available
with Mona Kay
If you are the non-autistic/neurotypical partner and would like to attend one of the free monthly support groups I offer please email me at neurodiverselove4u@gmail.com for the Zoom links. We meet on the first Monday of the month from 6:30-8pm EST and
the 4th Saturday of the month from 11:30am-1pm EST.
In addition, if you and your partner are looking to meet other neurodiverse couples who are experiencing similar challenges and want to get guidance and support as you navigate the next steps in your journey, then you may want to attend the neurodiverse couples support group that I facilitate.
We meet on the 3rd Wednesday of the month from 7:30-9pm EST (US)
and the investment is only $50 per couple.
The link to register for the next
Neurodiverse Couples Support Group meeting on February 18th from 7:30-9pm EST is provided below.
There is ONLY 1 SPOT LEFT FOR TONIGHT’S GROUP!
Check out the Podcast Episodes from Season 2-11
Neurodivergent Connections YouTube Channel Last Episode
Check out the last episode on the Neurodivergent Connections YouTube channel
It has been so wonderful co-hosting this channel with Greg Fuqua and Scott Simpson and I want to thank them both for agreeing to meet once a month to share their ideas, perspectives, lived experience and expertise with our followers. I will be forever grateful to Greg for sharing his therapeutic and coaching expertise and experience and to Scott for being the creative talent behind all the wonderful graphics and editing that made every episode so beautiful to watch, It has been amazing working with these two talented and kind men..
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We explore the complexities and joys of neurodiverse relationships. Hosted by Greg Fuqua, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Scott Simpson, a late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD adult, and Mona Kay, MSW, PhD., the host of the Neurodiverse Love podcast, we share personal experiences, insights, and practical strategies to help neurodiverse couples thrive.
Neurodiverse Love Conversation Card Workbook
$12.97
Digital version-Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards-Digital Deck
$11.00
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